Stop Burying the Point in Your Emails

I got an email last week and opened it on my phone between meetings.

It was a wall of text. I had no clue what they actually needed from me, so I closed it and kept moving.

Sound familiar?

The Mobile Reality Nobody Talks About

Most business emails are still written like it’s a desktop world: long preambles, context nobody asked for, and the actual point buried somewhere near the end.

But here’s the reality: your emails are being read on phones. Forbes Advisor reports roughly 41% of emails are opened on mobile devices, with desktop close behind at 39%. 

For busy service business owners checking email between job sites or during their kids’ hockey practice, that mobile number is probably much higher.

And when someone opens your email on their phone, they’re not settling in for a long read. Research from Nielsen Norman Group found that people spend about 51 seconds on an email after opening it. 

That’s less than a minute to make your point, provide context, and get them to take action.

It gets worse. That same study showed that participants fully read only 19% of newsletters, rather than reading them word-for-word. 

Their eyes jump to the top, skim down the left side, and make a quick decision: act now, save for later, or delete.

If your point is buried in paragraph four, it might as well not exist.

The Real Cost of Unclear Communication

This isn’t just an annoyance… it’s expensive.

According to Grammarly’s State of Business Communication research, miscommunication costs businesses an average of $12,506 per employee per year. The same study found leaders reported a 15% decline in productivity tied directly to poor communication.

Scale that across a team of ten, and you’re looking at over $125,000 in lost productivity annually. Much of that comes from emails that don’t get to the point or messages that require follow-up calls, create confusion, or simply get ignored because the reader couldn’t figure out what was being asked.

This is the same principle behind why AI Won’t Fix Your Broken Processes: you have to get the fundamentals right first.

The Fix: Put Your Bottom Line Up Front

Our team uses something called BLUF: Bottom Line Up Front

It’s a communication framework from U.S. Army Regulation 25-50, designed to ensure critical information gets across quickly and clearly, even in high-stakes situations where there’s no time to dig through paragraphs.

It turns out that it works just as well for business emails.

The principle is simple: start with what you need, then add only the context required to act.

Before:

“Hi John, 

Hope you’re having a great week. 

I wanted to reach out about the campaign we discussed last month. 

We’ve been reviewing the performance data and looking at some interesting trends…”

After:

“Hi John, 

Your November campaign drove 47 new calls. The full breakdown is below.”

It’s the same information, but the point is right there in the first line. There’s no digging through paragraphs to find what matters. 

How to Write BLUF Emails

Here’s the framework we use:

1. Lead with the Ask or the Answer

Whatever you need from the reader: a decision, approval, feedback, or just awareness, put it in the first sentence. That’s your bottom line. Everything else is supporting detail.

2. Keep Context Minimal

Ask yourself: what’s the least amount of background they need to act? Include that and nothing more. 

If you find yourself writing three paragraphs of context, you might need a phone call instead of an email.

3. Make the Next Step Obvious

If you need a reply, say so. If there’s a deadline, state it. 

“Please confirm by Thursday,” is better than “let me know your thoughts when you get a chance.” 

Clear next steps get faster responses.

4. Front-Load Your Subject Line

On mobile, subject lines often truncate around 33 characters. Put the key message early so it doesn’t get cut off. 

“November results: 47 new calls” works. 

“Following up on our discussion from last month regarding the campaign” doesn’t.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. Confusing “Bottom Line” with “Summary”

Your bottom line isn’t a recap of everything in the email. It’s the single most important thing the reader needs to know or do.

Wrong: “This email is about your campaign performance.” 

Right: “Your campaign drove 47 new calls last month.”

2. Having Multiple Bottom Lines 

If you have three important points, you don’t have a bottom line… you have a meeting agenda.

Pick the most critical one, or schedule a call to discuss all three.

3. Burying the Action Item

If you need something from the reader, that’s your bottom line. Don’t hide it at the end.

Wrong: “…and so if you get a chance, maybe you could review the proposal when you have time?” 

Right: “I need your approval on this proposal by Friday.”

The Monday Morning Version

Here’s what to do right now: open your sent folder and look at the last three emails you sent. Where did the actual point show up?

If it wasn’t in the first sentence, try this with your next email: 

  1. Write it the way you normally would
  2. Delete everything before your main point
  3. Move that point to the top. 
  4. See how it reads.

That last paragraph you wrote? That’s usually where your real message is hiding.

Your clients are reading your emails on their phones, between job sites, with a dozen other messages competing for attention. When you put your bottom line first, you’re not just being efficient; you’re respecting their time.

And in a service business, that respect builds trust.

Bottom line? Put your bottom line first. Your clients (and your team) will thank you.

Get Started Today

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